Telltale signs of snowflake-ization are all around if one knows where to look but these 10 “Beware Of” signs prove we really are living in a world of hurt.
1. Beware Golf
This bit of fore-shadowing comes courtesy of Pixabay member aitoff and Charleston, SC golf bag retailer The Elliott Company. The seriously circumspect sign at the Royal North Devon Golf Club in Bideford, UK could relay several different meanings - just ask any “golf widow.” Note that the golf bag, artfully propped beneath the weathered sign, features a miniature replica of said sign. Impressive, even if you’re not Xzibit.
2. MAXI Driving Excitement
When driving in the UAE, one must expect the unexpected…if you don’t believe us, just read the sign. Flickr member Jerry “Woody” (woody1778a) snapped the er, surprisingly ambiguous sign while on a 2006 road trip through the Emirates.
3. Subtracters Say…
I was told there would be no math…oh, you mean snakes. That’s umm, NOT better, right Indy? In April of 2009, Flickr member WordRidden was moved to photograph the above warning sign in Goonhilly Downs, which just happens to be located on the UK’s most southerly point of land… The Lizard. Aha, now it’s all adding up.
4. Fronds in High Places
Don’t stand, don’t stand, don’t stand so close to tree. Just imagine: if Isaac Newton had lived in Hawaii instead of England there would be no gravity today, and therefore, no need for this warning sign. Seriously though, getting conked on your coconut BY a coconut is no laughing matter. Physics can’t be reckoned with, no matter how many palms you grease. Flickr member anokarina snapped this ominously armed and fabulous tree early in 2013.
5. Panic at the Disc, Oh!
Alien abduction just ahead, hold onto your butts! Flickr member Michel Curi chanced upon this odd - some might say “otherworldly” - warning sign from Largo, Florida in the spring of 2017. Now he spends his days constructing miniature replicas of Devil’s Tower out of mashed potatoes while muttering “This means something. This is important.”
6. Be Werewolf
“The dogs come in all shapes and sizes here,” states Flickr member Satish Krishnamurthy (Unlisted Sightings), with “here” presumably being his hometown of Mumbai, India. Wait, that’s supposed to be a dog?? Looks more like Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent after a long night of partying with Dishonest John. Whatever it is, it’s something anybody should “bewere” of.
7. Pervect Strangers
You know Japan has a problem with creepers when authorities have to put up “Beware of Perverts” signs…with bonus cartoon imagery, of course. The disturbingly cute advisory, snapped by Flickr member Toby Oxborrow (Mr Wabu) in late 2005, warns the public that “If something happens, if you see something, phone the police straight away.” There’s always a chance the responding officer is also a chikan, however. Now who ya gonna call?
8. Rainforest’s Revenge
Hail fair Australia: land of deathly venomous animals, sea creatures and… plants? Indeed, the dreaded Gympie-Gympie bush (aka Dendrocnide moroides, also aka the “suicide plant”) is kinda like poison ivy on steroids - Australian steroids at that. Rumor has it one poor bushwhacker who unknowingly used some of its leaves as Outback toilet paper ended up taking his own life as a result. So basically, when in Australia take any and all warning signs seriously, and take an extra roll of Charmin along because consequences will never be the same. Flickr member shotleyshort snapped this bilingual illustrated sign in 2005.
9. Endurian the Unendurianable
Unlike the Gympie-Gympie bush, durian fruit only SMELL deadly…hold on, we stand corrected: seems these jumbo fruits with thorn-covered rinds can cause grievous injuries before they’re even opened. Which is fine, in a way, since you won’t notice any offensive odors after both the fruit and your skull are shattered. Should you see a sign like the one Flickr member Tristan Schmurr (kewl) photographed in Singapore back in 2012, run and hide…just not under a palm tree.
10. Seven Year Hitch
Better give the thumb’s-down to anyone looking for a lift near Brickeys, Arkansas…home of the East Arkansas Regional Unit and its roughly 1,400 non-paying, orange-jumpsuited “guests.” Thomas R Machnitzki snapped the plain-talking, plain-jane placard in April of 2012. As the sign indicates, hitchhikers in the rear-view mirror may be closer to prisoners than they appear. Put the pedal to the metal before THEY get closer to YOU.
Signing Off
The great sage and eminent cartoon character Homer Simpson once said, “Stop. Doing. Anything.“ Unfortunately, he came to this realization AFTER breaking the sun. Still, it’s a wise policy whether one’s out on the road or roaming close to home. To beware or not to be aware, let the signs be your guide.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please adhere to proper blog etiquette when posting your comments. This blog owner will exercise his absolution discretion in allowing or rejecting any comments that are deemed seditious, defamatory, libelous, racist, vulgar, insulting, and other remarks that exhibit similar characteristics. If you insist on using anonymous comments, please write your name or other IDs at the end of your message.